we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
