There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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