no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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