that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize