Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
