So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
This baby is an asshole
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
