This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
