my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
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You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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