i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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