Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
