wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
you inspire me to be a worse person
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
