I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Randomize
