So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
