did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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