My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
