even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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