The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
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im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
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You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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