she looked like the before picture.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
