none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Randomize
