Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
