How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
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I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
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I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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