Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize