I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
