just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
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