DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
