so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You took a bar mat shot.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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