I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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