my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
