I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
