well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
