the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize