I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
