pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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