420 ftw
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
