i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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