At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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