At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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