"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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