White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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