I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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