i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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