people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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