the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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