Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
