Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
this beer tastes like vomit already
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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