Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
