Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
