No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
