I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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