i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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