dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
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im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
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Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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