Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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