Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
