yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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