My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
