SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
