Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize