u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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