somebody snuck up and got me drunk
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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