You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
