he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
