this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
