FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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