I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
