Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
