Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
