I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
